America: Can you smell freedom in the air?

I joke often that when I land on American soil, I can smell freedom in the air. The moment I step off the plane, it is my right to think, feel, and say whatever I want to whomever I want. Isn’t that the point of being American? I joke, but ironically coming from our home base of Singapore now, which is quite the opposite of free speech, purposefully to promote social order, perhaps there is a certain level of freedom I feel when I arrive in America….. or it’s just fun to make fun of.

We have lived in Singapore for a little over two years now. I have not missed the United States much, but what was originally supposed to be a plan of visiting once every two years, has now turned into two visits in two years. Life has a way of changing your plans, and the birth of our second son as well as wanting them and their relatives to enjoy each other at such a young age changed the plan. I stated, rhetorically, to my wife several times before we left, “Is this trip going to be worth it?”, as the idea of traveling 17 hours one way with a 9-month old baby and 3 year old seemed like a nightmare. But, as we have always agreed, you make sacrifices to make sure your family across the generations have memories together, even if it comes at the expense of our sanity.

Unlike our previous trip to the states, where it was only the three of us flying in premium economy bought completely with points, this time we needed to be more practical since we had to pay for our tickets with a baby in a bassinet row. On the plus side, the bassinet row in economy automatically gives you plenty of legroom, much like if not more than premium economy. On the down side, we still had to figure out a baby sleeping in a bassinet that he barely fit and also removing him from it every single time the fasten seat belt sign came on….. needless to say, good sleep was not to be had.

Going into the flight from Singapore to LA, I imagined it would be the easier one as eastward winds usually provide a draft and the allotted flight time of 15 hours versus 17 hours the way back was shorter. In addition, the flight leaving at 6PM meant that the cabin lights would be dimmed earlier after dinner service than our 9PM flight back. My paranoid scheduled mind factored in a two to three hour meal service, lights dimming around 8:30 or 9PM, and then the kids sleeping until their usual 6 or 6:30AM wakeup time equating to only 4 hours of wake time until we arrived in LA. If only it went as planned.

Jai has always been a good traveler, knowing exactly what to do on a plane and remaining in his seat watching videos. The baby was the major wildcard, often screaming quite loudly at night upon waking. One of our biggest fears would be the older one waking the younger one or vice versa, and then a never ending cycle of trying to get the kids back to sleep without disturbing the whole plane. Meal service took much longer to get started and to complete, so my wife rocked the baby to sleep around 8:30PM, placed him in the bassinet, and then 20 minutes later he was wide awake from the noise of dinner and the bright lights that were on. It took a good 4+ hours after takeoff for the lights to dim, and to start the proper process of sleep.

It took a good while to get Jai to bed as the glare of many screens made it difficult for him to peel his eyes away. Once he fell asleep the rest of the ‘night’ alternated between the baby waking up in his tiny bassinet or being pulled out because of the fasten seat belt sign, and Jai having “nightmares” and freaking out. Each one continued to set the other off and my wife slept for maybe 2-3 hours on and off while I had about 4-5 hours on and off. In addition, I was sick in the week leading up to the flight and had lost my voice, had a persistent cough and dryness that made the flight all the more fun.

Very little feels better than getting off an airplane after a long haul flight, especially when you have young kids. The moment I disembark I finally feel a sense of relief, I no longer have to contain my children. This is in stark contrast to the life my wife and I used to live, pre-kids, where we flew business and first class on points multiple times and the goal was to find the longest flights to enjoy the experience. My first born changed my love for flying and just as he was aging out to be a more pleasant traveler, we added the baby. Oh well, it’s just life for now.

One of the biggest shockers was our experience going through LAX. On arrival, everything was almost seamless. Immigration only required a photo and then a pass through. In baggage claim, multiple workers asked my wife if she needed assistance with bags as they noticed she was wearing our baby, and multiple workers were organizing the bags coming through the carousel. Politeness, efficiency, lack of attitude….. were we really in the USA? This is also LAX, notoriously one of the busiest and most hectic airports in the U.S., and it changed….. weird.

After clearing immigration we were met by Jai’s grandfather (tok wan), grandmother (ba ngoai), and uncle (pak long). Everyone was so excited to see each other and for the baby to get reintroduced to his family, this time as a more conscious life than previously at 4 months old. We split into two cars, one child per car, and began our trek, depending on traffic 45 minutes to an hour, from LAX to El Monte.

Everything was going as smooth as can be after such a rough flight, but about 10 minutes into our car ride Jai began complaining that his tummy hurt. A toddler complaining of a tummy ache is the most common physical/psychological complaint a child can make, often being connected to many different things, most of which are not serious. As I was told in hospital one time, if your child’s tummy ache was a serious illness, it would be immediately apparent in their distress. Jai’s grandmother rubbed some soothing oils on his tummy, and then about 5 minutes later he vomited. Now, he didn’t vomit because of the oils, but most likely as an allergic reaction to something he ate prior. We immediately rushed off the highway and pulled over into a nearby neighborhood in the dark to attend to Jai.

My first priority was to get Jai out of his car seat, assess his condition, change his clothes, and administer his allergy medicine just in case it was a food reaction. Of course, in the back of my mind, I was questioning where we pulled over, the safety of the neighborhood especially because it was dark and this was America, not Singapore, all while trying to rummage through the luggage hoping we had his clothes in our car. After completing all the steps and not having my worst fears confirmed, we made our trek back to the house. All hopes of trying to keep the kids awake until as late as possible in LA so we could start the process of adjusting to the time zone went out the window as Jai was exhausted and napped the rest of the way home.

The main things we were looking forward to in the U.S., aside from the obvious purpose of spending time with family, was food selection, hiking in a new national park (more on this later), and spending time outdoors without melting in the humidity. For better and worse, the one thing people do in California is rave about the weather all the time. The temperate conditions allow for much playground time with kids, so we did as Californians do, visited parks, ate snacks from food carts, and found children specific museums (all outdoors) like KidSpace to entertain the kids.

We knew adjusting to the time zone in the US would be much more difficult than the other way around. The prior year it took us about 4-5 days to get fully on schedule, but this time we had a baby that took multiple naps, which made the task of getting everyone on time more random. The first couple of days we made sure to get out to parks/playgrounds in the morning and early afternoon so the light exposure could help reset the circadian rhythm in all our bodies. We allowed only one nap max for my wife, Jai and I during the day for two days only so we didn’t drag all day long. Several rough nights of the baby waking at odd hours finally turned into being on the correct time zone in about 4 days. We were proud of ourselves for this!

The main highlight of the trip was our one-week excursion to Zion National Park in southern Utah. We had started a tradition the year prior that whenever we visited the U.S., we wanted to do a bigger family trip to a National Park and really experience the beauty of America. The year prior we went to Joshua Tree National Park in California, which was ideal as Jai at 2.5 years old could amply participate in all the hikes and climb the various rocks. We also rented an airbnb with a firepit in the backyard which made for some amazing stargazing and smore roasting in the evening. We wanted to go somewhere unique again this year, so Zion it was.

I get stupidly giddy planning accommodations and travel plans and this was no different. Because we were traveling as a group of 7, it seemed to make most sense to rent a minivan. But after browsing the cars available, managing the logistics of schedule and cost, LA area traffic planning with Az’s older brother’s location, and my desire to have a truly American experience, we ended up booking a standard size SUV. We were promised a Chevrolet Suburban or similar. On the day of pickup, we received a 2023 Ford Expedition. Not having a car in Singapore, and realistically never going to have the experience of driving a massively oversized vehicle in our future, I was super excited to be a true American and look down upon all the tiny Prius’ along the way.

Our road trip to Utah was carefully planned out to minimize stops, but also have enough time for the kids to get out and stretch their legs. Keeping a baby in a car seat for a 6+ hour driving time (if no stops included) was going to be a task as he could only sleep so much. We made two planned stops, one at a rest stop for 30 minutes to run around and another in Las Vegas to eat and find a playground for a 1.5 hour break. In total, it took us 8 hours to get to our Airbnb in La Verkin, an overall successful road trip without any meltdowns!

Our airbnb in La Verkin, Utah was a small town about 25 minutes out from the main entrance of Zion National Park. I had hoped to book a much more unique home with more character, but was slow on the trigger and had to settle for a more traditional house. The positives of the house were its open concept kitchen, living and dining room and massive 3-bedroom 2-bathroom space. It was such a relief to have ample amounts of space to move around for both baby and toddler and not have to worry about being all over each other (our apartment in Singapore is quite small by American standards). Jai naturally explored the backyard and made up his own games, and our baby was very excited to crawl around the whole house. Jai also shared a bedroom with his uncle, the second time since doing so in Malaysia 6-months earlier. They have become best of roommates! Well, if that means one calming down a screaming child’s nightmare several times a night….

My wife and I, having drove cross country on more than one occasion, have always felt the National Parks are a haven and a safe place, where tourists and locals come and congregate to be part of something bigger than themselves. We have also felt that getting there and the small towns surrounding it are a bit suspect for people that look like us. It’s a common feeling we have had as minorities in the U.S., certainly magnified and intensified via the Trump era and the divisive politics with it. It becomes harder and harder to see others as similar to you, and wonder whether you will be yelled at or accosted because of how you look. It was a weird experience for me to come from Singapore where at least physically, I don’t think twice about my look, to La Verkin where I was literally one of the only East Asian faces in town.

I have no real reason to believe someone would be outwardly rude to me, but that feeling of being an other still existed. I often thought that most of these people probably think I’m from ‘communist’ China and that I don’t speak English. I made it a point to speak up and clearly so that people knew I was American, that I wasn’t that different from them, probably to some surprise. Heck, my brother-in-law and I even bought a freshly cooked-brisket and ribs from the grocery store that had a smoker outside, then climbed into our American made SUV just like everyone else. The brisket was not that good.

Back to the main point of this trip, hiking Zion National Park. On our first full day in Zion, we decided to enter the west entrance of the park, Kolob Canyons, as it is a much less visited and more secluded hiking area than the main Zion section. Hiking should feel somewhat secluded, and with how popular all the national parks were getting, being stuck in hour long lines to ride shuttles to hiking trails, or passing another person every 20 seconds takes away the feeling of solitude in nature. In Kolob Canyons, we could drive our car to the small parking lot, and begin our first hike in relative solitude.

Our first hike I planned to take the Taylor Creek Trail, about 5 miles roundtrip, which was estimated to take 3.5 hours for the average person. Carrying a baby on us, with a 3.5 year old exerting massive energy in spurts, made us take a ‘play it by ear’ approach and see how far we got on the trail before having to factor in the walk back for the little one’s excited, but sporadically weary legs. Jai had done such an excellent job on the prior year’s hike, that we knew we could get him to walk the entire route as long as he was entertained with stories, chatting, and playing around in nature. Thankfully, his uncle was also tasked with shuttling him through the water crossings and up and down different terrains and climbs. The group made it about 1.5 miles, which already took about 1.5 hours, and decided to stop and eat lunch, and then turn around to head back. I continued to hike about another half mile ahead with the baby sleeping on my back.

At the end of our Taylor Creek Trail hike, which took about 3.5 hours, I had planned a smaller hike at Timber Creek Overlook Trail if everything went well. Hopping back into the SUV, we drove about 10 minutes up 1000+ feet of elevation to the trail entrance which was a 1 mile roundtrip hike with breathtaking views of the canyons. Despite not having much elevation to climb at the actual trail, this route was much more up and down on rocks and steps, which made for quite a tiring endeavor after our previous trail. Jai once again hiked the entire way, and at the top, we could see, supposedly, as far out as the Grand Canyon.

The following day, I planned a hike in Snow Canyon State Park. What is amazing about Southern Utah is that the entire area is rife with beautiful and unique geological formations, making state parks just as, if not more spectacular to visit with a third of the crowds of Zion. Snow Canyon State Park was only a 30 minute drive the opposite direction of Zion, and another place where we could drive through the park on our own with stops at our discretion. For this day, I had planned to visit the Petrified Dunes, Butterfly Trail, and Jenny’s Canyon. Each trail and section had their own unique topography from Navajo sandstone to caves you could climb into, which Jai and my wife did. This was my highlight of the entire hiking trip, staring out into what felt like a land before time, a place where dinosaurs openly roamed.

The following day we decided should be a rest day from hiking. Between the baby’s irregular sleep schedule while on hikes, tired feet from long hikes, and the traveling and planning for each hike, it was time to relax at our airbnb so we could start fresh again the next day. So, to fill the rest day, we cooked all our meals at home, took a stroll to a nearby playground for the kids to run around, and ran a few errands to plan for our next day’s hiking trip to the main part of Zion and it’s most popular hiking attractions.

To be honest, I was not looking forward to entering the main park entrance as I had read about the crowds and waits. After entering the town of Springdale, we decided to park outside the park and walk our way in as the line to get into the park was at least 1 mile long. Once inside, even at 9am, the queue for the shuttles were quite long. We had decided that the first day in, we would forgo the shuttle and hop on a trail right at the entrance for simplicity sake. We started on the Pa’rus trail, an easy 3.5 mile walk along the river that was stated as good for families, but quickly turned around half a mile in as it’s never a good sign for interest and challenge when people are casually jogging on a paved path.

Instead, we embarked on the moderately challenging Watchman Trail, a 3.5 mile roundtrip that ends with an overview of Zion Canyon. A total of 368 feet of climbing with many switch backs and moderate drop offs provided quite a challenge for Jai and our group, making sure that we kept focus as some parts became a little hairy, especially with crowds moving through confined spaces. Again, Jai hiked the entirety of the trail on his own with his uncle making sure to keep the chatting up for distraction as well as protect him from falling off the side of the mountain. Aside from the crowds that I loathe, the views from the top were spectacular and a great place to have lunch and rest.

On our final day of hiking, and last day at Zion, we decided to make the trek into one of the more popular hiking spots via shuttle. This time, we left the house earlier the next morning, and decided to wait in line to get into the park to park. It took about 30 minutes to enter the park, and then once inside another 55 minutes from queueing at the shuttle line to enter the bus, which took another 20 minutes to get to our stop to hike….. the beauties of nature and solitude? Despite my griping about the amount of time it took to actually start a hike, the system was pretty efficient with buses arriving every 5-10 minutes, but that also gives scale to how many people were at the park.

Our last hike was to take the 2 mile Kayenta trail to one of the Emerald pool trails that varied in difficulty and distance. Both of these trails are considered extremely busy as the Emerald pools are one highlight with waterfalls that everyone wants to see. As expected, even starting the trail there was a wait as hikers going up and down a narrow path created several bottlenecks. The rise of the climb was fast, providing gorgeous views of the river stream along the canyons, quite a picturesque view. Along the Kayenta trail, we passed a group of hikers almost every 15 seconds all the way to the Emerald pools. Once at the emerald pools, the crowds lessened slightly, but still were very apparent.

Prior to the hike, I had read that the bridge at Emerald pools that allows hikers to easily cross back over the river was out of service for repair. This would have been an easy option to end the hike instead of turning around and having to do the reverse of the whole trail with the crowds. I had also read that some hikers said crossing the river was easy, as long as you were willing to get your feet wet or had some proper water hiking boots. We had pre-planned who would carry which kids in case we wanted to try this option, but once we got to the Emerald pools and surveyed the distance from afar to even get to the broken bridge crossing, we decided with little kids it would not be wise to chance it. Jai had again hiked the entirety of the trail and we didn’t want to add undue mileage after such efforts! So, back across the Kayenta trail we trekked to our original starting point.

To close out our Zion experience, we had decided to eat dinner in Springdale and have a bit of dessert afterwards. We decided on Bit & Spur, a southwestern and Mexican fare restaurant that was highly rated. The restaurant had both indoor and outdoor seating, which we chose the latter, with plenty of green space for kids to run around and some other unique flare and charm for when they had live shows playing. The food was good and being surrounded by the towering canyons of Zion was quite breathtaking, and just plain relaxing. Afterwards, we headed over to a popular ice-cream and candy shop as no trip is complete without a little kid eating an ice cream as big as their head.

Our long drive back home the next day was fairly uneventful. As usual, on the 9-hour car ride, we planned two big stops for food and fresh air, with the main one being in Vegas again. Unlike the drive to Zion, our baby had reached his car sleeping limit and was quite upset for the last hour of the drive, which was fun for all our ears in the car. We arrived back in El Monte towards dinner time and reluctantly shifted back into city life. At this point, we had one week left of our US trip and our last mission was to eat ourselves silly with all the different cuisines we find near impossible to get in Singapore.

The very next day we made it a point to have dinner at GS Cafe, an Ethiopian restaurant in Covina that we had visited on our last trip to California. My wife and I had been fortunate enough to live in Washington, D.C. for 8+ years which had a burgeoning African population and with that, yummy and delicious food we had never tried before. We easily became hooked on the family style sharing, much like most Asian cultures, and the pairing of injera as the vehicle for scooping and enjoying the various side dishes. The combination of the spongy, and slightly sour flatbread, with the vegetable sides and spices, as well as meat dishes like beef stew or awaze tibs, were something we craved since leaving D.C. The food was excellent!

Along the theme of food, despite being closer to Vietnam than we have ever been living in Singapore, the Los Angeles area boasts Asian food almost as good as the regions they originally come from. Jai’s grandmother, ba ngoai, wanted to treat all of us to Boston lobster. Ironically enough, it is a Vietnamese lobster dish, with origins in Chinese cuisine, named after an American city…. for what reasons I have no idea. But, the restaurant was packed with customers, everyone ordering at least one lobster, and a menu that kept you guessing….. literally with question marks for prices and dishes. Overall, another yummy and good experience.

As our days were winding down, we had two more activities planned before we left. The first was to go to Underwood Family Farms in Moorpark. The last time we went was September 2021 when our older son was only 14 months old and we enjoyed their pumpkin patch theme. While I find the whole experience a bit hokey, it was another activity that both the kids could enjoy as there were plenty of farm animals to feed, tractor trailers to ride, and slides and playgrounds of farm machinery to run around on. In addition, depending on the season you go, you could pick different fresh fruits and vegetables on your own. This time around, my wife and son picked English snap peas to boil and eat later. It was an overall good time, and oddly enough I find the carnival fair food pretty good.

A trip to America, at least California, could not be complete without a stop at the beach. This time we visited Sunset Beach in Huntington Beach. The day was surprisingly chilly despite full sunshine and temperatures around mid-60’s with plenty of wind. Not as enjoyable as our past beach stops in California have been, but we pitched up a shaded tent with mats and packed a little picnic to eat. It was our second to last day before heading back to Singapore and our last chance to have some outdoor space without extreme humidity enveloping on us. As I stared out into the ocean, the enormity of the water to cross to where we now called home didn’t seem so foreign or awe-inspiring, it was just our home now.

Our final day in America was mostly about packing, making sure the kids got out to a playground to burn some energy, and for us parents, mentally preparing ourselves for the long flight home. The main purpose of this trip wasn’t to visit America, it was to be with family and have memories across the generations. This age while so frustrating and demanding is also the most fun and simple to be around for others, and I think that was accomplished to it’s max with our three weeks of adventure. Saying goodbye at the airport was hard, as it has been in our previous trips, but the boys truly felt comfortable with their grandparents and uncle very early on. As is always the case for me, I start wondering when is the next time we will all see each other again.

Surprisingly, just like our arrival into LAX, our departure from check-in through security was smooth. We processed through each section quickly, wondering what has become of America….. We were both dreading the 17 hour flight back, but on the whole this leg of the trip was easier than coming to the U.S. Both kids, while going to sleep terribly late, slept much better and were not as difficult while awake. For relative comparison though, this meant I got about 5-6 hours of broken sleep while my wife got 4-5 hours broken. I guess this is a win?

On arrival in Changi we were hit with the humidity and the smell of Asia right away. The kids were bright eyed awake and wired, despite the long travel. As we made our way back home, and as we arrived back into our condo, wary of any cockroaches flying out of our AC unit like in past long trips away, we quickly got back into the routine trying our best to unpack and put away things as if we never left. Just like that, our adventure was over, we had made it through this major long-haul trip with a baby. Was it worth it for my wife and I? Maybe not in the ways that are typical of a vacation, but we learned many more things about dealing with the stress of travel, and our boys and their family got to enjoy themselves. It was ‘mostly’ worth it.